Mumbai Diaries – Chapter 1

‘Why are all these girls wearing banians?’
– my Dad was not too amused looking at the wardrobe of the girls who study in that posh mba college I mentioned in the previous post.

‘Are we in roaming?’
‘Will Rohit also get billed if I call him from here?’
‘When do I have to add 0 before the phone number?’
‘The number is not working because there is a + before the 91. Who put the + there?’
– my cell phone challenged Grandfather trying to come to terms with the new number system.

‘Who are you talking to?’
‘Err…Spandana’
- mum and me (lie_count++)

‘Taj Mahal does not clean the utensils well’
– Grandma referring to our domestic help, Tajmeera

‘Shahid is so cute’
- me and my sister in chorus

‘Who are you talking to?’
‘Hmm…Nisha’
- mum and me(lie_count++)

‘Bhaiya aapko route pata hai na?’
‘Haa haa’
……….
‘Abhi left lena hai ki right?’
‘What the eff?’
- the combined reactionof our family when our driver seemed more new to Mumbai than us

‘Useless’
- my dad summarizes the Indian cricket team’s fielding effectively

Silence in the house
- me and my sister sleeping

‘Papa, I love this shirt’
‘That is not a shirt, Nammu’
‘Papa, pleaseeee’
- conversation before my Dad doled out cash for me to buy one of those banians

‘Who are you talking to?’
‘Uhh…..Bhargava’
- mum and me (end of my short lived career as a liar)

‘Who are you talking to?’
‘Umm…Bhavna’
- me and my sister !!!!!

Mumbai diaries – Foreword

I woke up to the sounds of ‘vada-pav’. Those two words were the only thing ringing in my ears for a duration of almost 4 hours. Even the chants of ‘Govinda-Govinda’ in Tirupati, by bald men or men who will eventually get bald (no disrespect of any sort intended here, promise), will fail to elicit the same amount of monotony that these vendors did on my train journey to Mumbai. I was traveling with my grandparents and my pain in the ass sister. She is all sorted and mature now, which is a little hard to digest. Okay, more than a little. Also, she texts non-stop. I mean 24×7. No kidding. Its like she was born to type. She knows every kind of top-up offer on every mobile service operating in India. My grandma,even at this age packed us dinner, snacks, more snacks and some more snacks. Unfortunately, our food bags weighed heavier than the total combined weight of the rest of our luggage. Luckily, there wasn’t much to do on the journey except hog – which we did. But the constant cry of ‘vada-pav’ every other minute almost drove us crazy. That and the message tone of my sister’s phone which just refused to stop ringing. The journey was very pleasant otherwise .

Did a lot of catching up with my sister. Its been ages since we have spent some time together and she very deftly handled the conversations(the ones with me and the ones on the phone). I nudged her about her guy-friends and started teasing her a little. There was a time when she hated being taunted in the aforementioned manner. She did not mind it much this time. That made me a little suspicious. Sensing my changing stance from that of a buddy to an elder sister, she shrugged nonchalantly and said, “Nammu, there is no one.” I took her word for it and realized how unreasonably protective I was being. Still, I kept an eye about her phone .

Our co-passengers on the journey were a 13 year old boy and his mum. The boy was getting really bored (a fact I know because he kept asking for food every five minutes; “amma…chips….icecreams….vada-pav”;aah well of course, the last one had to feature). After a while he came up to us and asked ‘Which class are you studying in?’. That question just made me smile. I remember how this question was the ice-breaker during every social visit me and my sister were dragged to when in school. I told him that both me and my sister were not in school anymore. That made him a little sad because he was probably expecting us to play ‘book-cricket’ with him. Nevertheless, he started talking excitedly about cricket and was just glad that someone was listening to him. After what seemed like eternity, he felt sleepy and went up to his berth. Me and Anu (my sister’s name is Arpita – why she is called Anu though is another story) indulged in some harmless gossip and proceeded to sleep but not before grandpa set alarms in 4 mobile phones for the early morning wake-up call.

We got down at Dadar station and it took us a good five minutes to get the luggage out. A fact that was fodder for Papa’s jokes for the entire drive home. It felt strange because home has been Rajahmundry for a good ten years. New landmarks, new roads(the roads were kinda old actually.. bad joke…err well am allowed to crack one atleast) and a new home. Exciting. Add to that the fact that there is a super posh mba college just outside my house. You know – cute guys, swanky cars, etc. I fell in love with Mumbai on the very first day !!!

Fighting fights

Feeling absolutely uninspired to write is what I dread the most. I heart writing and there was so much that happened over the past week that I just had to write about it;but other things are sapping away that enthusiasm and let me say for the record – “i hate fighting on the phone”. There is nothing more diverting and depressing than that. So my advice would be fight in person . As I write this post, I still feel sad because when you argue with someone you hold very dear, it just does not feel right. No amount of chocolate or FRIENDS episodes can lift my spirit when all I am doing is replaying the conversation that started the damn argument in the first place and coming to the conclusion that it was entirely my fault . Okay, not entirely but majorly.

These incidents make me wonder though. Introspect too,sometimes. I know that I am an extremely impulsive person and that I think in extremes. It is not necessarily a bad thing but unless people are aware of this habit, they will wrongly wrong you . Also, I have a volatile temper. I get mad at crappy,inconsequential stuff and say things I do not mean. The sadder part is, I realize my folly within a few minutes but one can never take back what’s been said. The entire conversation becomes negative and all this on the phone is just incredibly pissing.

Sometimes I wonder how people can forgive and forget. Forgive, I can but forget, I can’t. Somewhere at the back of my mind, I keep thinking about why I behave the way I behave when I should not behave like that. I know I should not but my instincts kick in and there is nothing much left for me to do then. I have seen so many of my friends and family members grow up to learn how to control emotions. They know when to say what and I am not saying I do not;but when it matters the most I blunder.

I hate fighting. I just hate it. It makes me all philosophical and boring. I hate being boring.

Lookback at 2009

I know I cannot match several magazines (read TIME,People etc) when it comes to generating ‘lists’ ,but I am also not the one who gets easily discouraged as such and more importantly I have an opinion on everything. This post is late in the offing but an exorbitantly lazy weekend made me well er, lazy!

Best Movies (Hindi)

1. Wake Up Sid
2. Kurbaan
3. Rocket Singh : Salesman Of The Year
4. Dev D
5. Love Aaj Kal
6. Gulaal
7. Kaminey

Worst Movies(Hindi)

1. Chandni Chowk To China
2. Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani
3. De Dhana Dan (have not seen the movie but I just know )
4. Kambakht Ishq
5. Do Knot Disturb

3 idiots was somewhere in between(just mentioning before someone bashed me up)

Best Movies(English)

1. Inglorious Basterds
2. Julie And Julia
3. Up
4. The Blind Side
5. (500) Days Of Summer
6. The Hurt Locker
7. The Hangover
8. Zombieland
9. Whip It
10. Jennifer’s Body
11. Away We Go
12. Ice Age 3
13. Paranormal Activity

Most probably The Informant, Up In The Air,Its Complicated and Precious will make the list but have not gotten around to seeing them yet

Worst Movies(English)

1. Twilight
2. Twilight:New Moon
3. The Ugly Truth
4. Love Happens
5. Final Destination

[I may have definitely missed out on many notable or not so notable releases, but of the ones that I do remember watching - these are the flicks that made the list]

Best Songs(English)

Disclaimer: most of them are pop songs, so please refrain from commenting on my taste of genre

1. Sweet Dreams – Beyonce
2. Stupid In Love – Rihanna
3. Poker Face – Lady Gaga
4. Boom Boom Pow – Black Eyed Peas
5. She Wolf – Shakira
6. Empire State Of Mind – Jay Z and Alicia Keys
7. Bad Romance – Lady Gaga
8. Right Round – Flo Rida
9. My Life Would Suck Without You – Kelly Clarkson
10. So What – Pink
11. If U Seek Amy – Britney Spears
12. Single Ladies – Beyonce

Best Songs(Hindi)

1. Dhan Te Nan (Kaminey)
2. Iktara (Wake Up Sid)
3. Love Aaj Kal soundtrack
4. Dev D soundtrack
5. Delhi 6 soundtrack
5. Ittefaq se (Paa)
6. Bebo – Kambakht Ishq

WTF stories (national and international)

1. Tiger Woods controversy
2. Kanye West at the MTV vma’s
3. Rakhi Ka Swayamvar
4. Rafa Benitez still managing Liverpool (seriously!!!)
5. Nobel Peace Prize to Obama
6. Semanya’s gender debate controversy
7. AP governor’s scandal
8. Mayawati’s obsession with herself
9. Koda scam
10. Commonwealth games progress or lack of it
11. CAT exam going online

Yayy moments

1. Saina Nehwal’s win at the Indonesia Open
2. Roger Federer winning the French
3. India becoming no.1 in test rankings
4. Rakhi’s swayamvar coming to an end
5. Indian cinema in general growing up (minus the radios and blues and de dhana dhans)
6. A R Rahman’s international recognition at Oscars
7. Rahul Gandhi becoming more prominent in politics
8. Me graduating and finding something/someone special !!

It was an eventful year but then,every year is. Hoping for an even more exciting 2010 and wishing everyone a very happy new year.

Telangana – problem or solution ?

“Which part of Andhra do you come from?”, enquired my friend with genuine curiosity and interest. “I come from Andhra”, was my reply. “Yeah, but which part of Andhra?”, she asked with even more intensity. It then struck me that the whole concept of regionalization of our state is alien to many people who have made its cosmopolitan capital- Hyderabad, their home. Although, Hyderabad is the state’s capital, its growing metropolitan status is because of the numerous cultures that have been accepted benevolently by the city and its citizens. To many outsiders, Andhra is one state, which it is but the recent turn of events has complicated that view. I had to elaborate and explain to my friend how the state basically consists of three major regions – Telangana, Andhra (or coastal Andhra) and Rayalseema. There are few cultural and linguistic differences among the people of these regions and that’s why the classification in the first place. Even to me, a resident of the state for almost 11 years now and also a native, this distinction in regions became clear when I wrote the EAMCET exams and was made aware of ‘regional reservations’ – a concept which is as rare as any. I always failed to comprehend the need for region-wise reservation when all of the people belonged to one state. But, systems like this are beyond the understanding of mortals like me.

During the course of the past few days, many people new to these facts have ended up referring to KCR as TRS. Funnily, a friend of mine from another state enquired “Has TRS broken his fast”. An amusing observation amidst, the gloom of all the incidents that have occurred as a result of the agitations for a new state. I am a neutral on this topic and believe that, all the time, resources and energy spent on this cause could have been used for making the government stand up and take notice of the projects that were promised for this region and have not been completed. People who are vociferously demanding a separate state of Telangana should have demanded changes in policies for their region with the same fervor with which they are shouting slogans. We are a democracy and we are the checks on the government’s actions. We have immense freedom to voice our opinions and bring changes. It’s a great power and with that power, comes great responsibility. Yes, all the vandalism and “raasta-rokos” and protests have brought immense focus on the issue and made both the state and national government take notice, but is this attention going to solve the grass root problems like lack of water supply and drought like conditions that have rendered the lands barren? The question I am asking is – is carving out a new state going to solve these problems or is the problem something else.

Another burning issue is the fate of Hyderabad. Geographically, it falls in the Telangana region but it is not about lines and kilometers and positions anymore. I do not think the majority of the state’s population thinks of Hyderabad as falling in a certain region. Hyderabad is home to people from various districts and even states. The amount of money that will be spent in completing the formalities required to bring in a new state is huge. That money can instead be used for the uplifting of the region in discussion here.

As a Hyderabadi and a native of Andhra Pradesh, I personally find it sad to see so many people get hurt and so much property being destroyed. All our moral compasses need checking and we have to acknowledge the situation with sensitivity. Yes, the people of Telangana have problems that need to be attended and yes, to some extent they have a right to be angry because that ‘yet’ is taking forever. But, the focus should be those problems. I hope for a united Andhra Pradesh which is incomplete without any region and backward even if one district is suffering from abject poverty. I am no politician, but this issue should not be about politics in the first place. If it is, then it is a pity.

Silver Screen of Andhra Pradesh

News of Tirupati MLA and PRP chief Mr.Chiranjeevi stepping down from his position did not come as a surprise to many people who have been following the political chaos in the state with keen interest. The situation looks straight out of a commercial movie; what with its share of twists and turns, its own set of heroes, villains and martyrs. The action has shifted from Hyderabad/Telangana to major cities like Vijaywada, Vizag, Tirupati, Ananthpur etc. The agitation for Telangana is being pushed away from the limelight akin to an actress past her prime and newer actors like Lagadapati Rajagopal and Chiranjeevi and being thrust into public or rather political view.

No sooner was the announcement for initiation of movement for a separate state made by the Home Minister, Mr. P.Chidambaram, celebrations broke out amidst Telangana supporters and KCR was elevated to mega star status. Realizing the repercussions of a decision like this, frantic last minute changes were made to the script and Mr. Lagadapati has made a promising debut. The opening scene itself was dramatic enough to send many into frenzy. The idea of keeping a fast maybe unoriginal but just like faction themes or college romances were a rage once, this is the current trend – fasting. Notwithstanding the deviations from the plot caused due to arrests by the police, no one can keep a protagonist down right? Off went the MP to Vijaywada to fulfill his promise and the stage is all set for an interesting climax.
Not the one used to anonymity, Mr. Chiranjeevi has also woken up from his deep slumber and changed his avatar. Well, taking a cue from, his actor son who transformed himself as per the demands of a role, even he has realized that one needs to change stances if one wants to survive in this field! From a pro-Telangana stance, he has now changed into a key player for the ‘unified Andhra’ plot. How his character develops remains to be seen but things could only get more engaging and entertaining.

Technicians’ a.k.a the media is having a tough time keeping up with the changing venues. There is constant competition among them to overdo one another in capturing the actors in all their varied moods. Also, everyone seems to be trying very hard to win the title of ‘most number of breaking news flashes per minute’. But, they seem to be doing good in the background score and action departments.
Funnily, the viewers of this saga are none other than the people of the state of Andhra Pradesh themselves who feel like extras because no one seems to be listening to their voice or asking their opinion. Driven by the developments of the lead actors and confused by the ever changing storyline, these people have now accepted their fate of being resigned to the life of a fringe actor.

“Picture abhi baaki hai mere dost”

Movie Review – Paa,Rocket Singh

I have been utterly lazy over the past few days, or weeks rather. Luckily, my bones shed that aspect when it comes to checking out a movie or writing about one. December seems like a good month for Hindi cinema – okay, we can forgive Himesh and his besura Radio for once.

Paa

I did not really see much of the publicity that was done for this flick but my Amitabh crazy mum and aunt more than made up for it. So, after a long time I went to a single-screen cinema with ma to check out ‘Paa’ (ok, this sentence was a bad one but will leave it for people who want to bash.) I loved the movie contrary to my assumptions. It just went by smoothly and had some clever humor. Very Woody Allen-ish I must say. Loved Vidya Balan after a long time and man those saris were fab! Did not like Abhishek that much and his holier-than-thou character seemed a little contrived at points but that is more the fault of the script than his. He somehow looks older. Get back to your Bluffmaster days please. Coming to the real hero of this movie – Big B himself. Not that big in this movie but wow, what a performance. No hamming and no OTT was a refreshing change. Kudos to the make-up guys for transforming the superstar into an unusual 12 year old – ‘Auro’ and the cameraman for clever angles. He really was splendid. Even the fringe characters like ‘bum’ – Vidya’s mom and Paresh Rawal – Abhishek’s dad were fun to watch. My favorite character though was Vishnu who plays Auro’s best friend in school. He had the most adorable one liners and the funniest of domestic life-crisis situations. Loved the music and background score. I had my bag stacked with tissue papers because the whole premise of this movie convinced me that it would be a sob fest inside the cinema but luckily, I found myself smiling through most of the movie and even after it. Definitely worth watching.

Rocket Singh – Salesman Of The Year

Very interesting title. Check. Ranbir Kapoor. Check. Track record of the director. Check. Nothing else to watch. Check. So with my priorities in place, I walked into this movie with pretty high expectations. I was a little disappointed but that does not take away from the fact that its a lovely movie. The movie is about a very ordinary Sardar graduate who knows he is not smart enough to crack the CAT or even sit for the exam but is aware of his qualities of persuasion. So, he zeroes in on sales as his stream of working and supporting him through is his adorably old grandfather (played by the very likeable Prem Chopra). He also has a couple of friends who are his support system (a little reminiscent of Wake Up Sid). He finally gets a job at a firm but soon realizes that corruption and cheating are as important as convincing skills are, in the world of sales. His value system is shaken when he meets a client who asks for a bribe and in a moment of insanity he complaints against him. All this leads to poor Ranbir being ostracized by his colleagues and him being termed a ‘zero’. Tired of all the humiliation, he decides to set up his own company right under the nose of his existing employers and succeeds in gaining the trust of a few more people who can help him achieve his target. But, things can’t be so rosy and they are caught. What follows is realization which in turn leads to a preachy,long but feel-good climax. Its a YashRaj production after all. Apart from the ending, I loved the movie. It has very good writing (Jaideep Sahni) and the director steers away from commercial cliches and instead opts for real characters and settings. All the performances are exceptional.. especially the guy who plays Giri (his spot on Hyderabadi accent will have you in splits). The movie is humorous almost through and through, but it is very subtle and, maybe the movie will not strike a chord with everyone. Yet, the unusual theme and the kickass dialogues make this movie worth watching.

Both the movies are a good sign of change in Hindi cinema. Amitabh is most likely to sweep all the awards and Ranbir is without doubt the most talented young actor around. Looking forward to 3 idiots now. Hated the trailor but hoping the movie is good.

Kartooonnzzz!

“Fighting crime.
Trying to save the world
Here they come just in time
The powerpuff girls“

Imagine girls with absolutely zero sense of taal and sur singing this song at an uptown restaurant . Luckily, few people got to experience the awesomeness first hand when me and my friends decided to exercise our vocal chords at a friend’s birthday bash a few days ago. No, we weren’t drunk and no, it was not a part of ‘truth or dare’. As we were kept waiting endlessly for our appetizers, the topics gradually shifted from office to college to school. Although all of us had studied in different schools at different cities/towns, the common thread was cartoons. I remember how my evenings consisted of catching the ending of Swat Kats, laughing my ass of during Dexter and channeling my feminist side during Powerpuff Girls. Each one of us got talking about how Tom and Jerry were a(yes, they deserve to be treated as separate individuals/animals/watever) part of everyone’s growing up years and how much we hated it when Scrappy Doo would hog the limelight on his Uncle Scooby’s show. Okay, family rivalries are common and yeah I know it was just a cartoon but it was not just a cartoon .

My mum and dad got hooked on to Heidi on Saturdays because we would rush home from the bus-stop to catch the episode. I dreamed of being a planateer every time I saw Captain Planet. I remember having a crush on the cute blond guy from the show . Till my tenth I religiously followed cartoon network.. even when the massively idiotic cable guy aired only the hindi version. Proof:

“Bob the builder..karke dikhaenge
Bob the builder.. haan bhai haan !“

Yep, I admit I am a cartoon addict and I miss not having a tv set home. I miss the Lulu show, Roadrunner, Duck Tales, Adventures of Penelope Pitstop, Laff-A-Lympics, Jetsons, The Flintstones etc etc. They were all incredibly entertaining and funny as well. Cartoon Network is shit now. Excepting Ben 10, all the shows are going from bad to worse. All of us agreed how the old CN was the best thing ever on TV. We closed our hyper-excited conversation with this solemn conclusion as the food arrived. We had ordered hara-bhara kebab. Suddenly, it struck us and all of us looked at each other with a smile and started talking about how Popeye was so awesome…………..

Skeletons in the closet

All of us have a few. Some do a good job of letting them remain there, while some do not. Andre Agassi belongs to the second category. Is it a good thing or a bad thing is left to one’s discretion but I reckon Agassi must be feeling the heat given all the admissions he made over the past few weeks. Whatever may be the circumstances, nothing justifies the use of drugs. Sidestepping a bit, what the eff does one mean by recreational drugs. How can the use of any drug be a recreation. Stepping back, sports has had a long and troubled relation with drugs. Somehow most sportsmen attribute its use to depression or performance enhancement. No sportsman in my memory has publicly come out and confessed to having used drugs just for the heck of it. Any one who has accepted the use, has always followed it up with a story of crisis – personal or professional. I do not possess subject matter expertise on drugs but still, don’t people get addicted to it by making a habit of a hobby – a hobby that starts off as a ‘i have got to try it once’ and ends up as a ‘ i can’t live with or without it’ (okay, channeling the U2 song here ).

What has stirred so much controversy in Andre’s case is that, not only did he use the drugs, he succeeded in fooling the authorities and paved a path to one of the most remarkable comebacks in the history of sports. That he is a legend of tennis and a man who is doing great work for the society is unquestionable, but, all that pales in comparison to the fact that his entire post drugs era was based on a lie. Maybe he lied because the truth would have cost him his career. I blame the authorities more than Andre because it their duty to get the facts right and do the appropriate checks. They failed big time and Agassi became the Buddha of tennis who won slams and fans alike.

Although the timing of his coming out is notorious, I do not think it tarnishes his image for me much. He is still one of my most favorite players and people. Marat Safin says that Agassi should return all his slams. Why? Didn’t he work his ass off to beat top draw players. He failed one dope test and got out of it but that does not mean he did not have the talent or ability to win the slams. Yes, he should have been banned/punished but he was not. Not his fault. The dumb authorities screwed it up. He was just desperate to get back and luckily he got a break. Then why does he mention it now? Because he is plain dumb or maybe super-smart. No one likes skeletons in their closet after all. They are way too scary!!

Movie Review: This Is It

Before all the plastic surgery madness and child-abuse accusations, Michael Jackson was universally loved,admired and in extreme cases worshiped. He revived pop music that was an almost forgotten genre in the seventies. His songs were catchy and his videos catchier. The kind of euphoria one attached to him was unprecedented and his mere sighting was enough to send fans into frenzy. Everyone knew who Michael Jackson was. That is a huge compliment to the man who strangely went on a path of absurdity and caused damage not only to his health but also to his reputation. In a last bid to salvage that lost pride, he decided to participate in a series of 50 concerts in London which was paradoxically titled – “This Is It”. The movie is an amalgamation of selected rehearsal videos and on/off stage footage shot during the practice sessions for the concert.

I went into the movie with normal expectation- if at all the two words can co-exist . The hall was completely full and people could be heard talking about MJ. As the first shot of MJ appeared, a few enthusiastic people shouted in unison ‘Aauuu’. That set the tone for the whole movie. Every few minutes we were made to witness this man’s genius,talent,dedication and humility. People were singing along to his famous tunes and there was a round of applause after every segment. I personally was amazed at his dancing prowess. I mean, he was just sensational even when undoubtedly, he was not in the best of shape. At 51, he could give any b-boy or hip hop dancer a run for their money. Even when there were disagreements, he voiced his opinions in a manner that was so mild and unlike his status. I guess, that is why he had such an amazing career. Incredible is the only word to describe his passion for this concert. Unlucky that we were not able to witness the concert in totality but lucky that we could still see glimpses of his genius.

What I liked about this movie is that it does not make any attempts to cash in on his untimely death. The movie stays true to what it states in the beginning and it does not get overtly-emotional or filmy. Shot in a documentary style and intercepted with interviews of people who worked with him for the tour, you can clearly see the awe in which people held him. He speaks in a child-like tone and fleetingly takes off his sunglasses during the movie. Yet, his music manages to connect and so does he. His singing is still effective and his ability to match with newer and fresher talent is visible at many places.On a lighter note,any person who can make crotch-grabbing such a rage, deserves a movie .

Pros: The simple narrative, the awesome routines and Michael Jackson.

Cons: Very limited personalized interaction between the camera and MJ.

Special mentions: The routines for ‘Thriller’ and ‘The way you make me feel’.

Overall rating: 3.5/5